I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
