i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
smell my finger.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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