What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
