So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
time to smoke my breakfast
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
