i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
