As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
