Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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