It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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