Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
