new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
