Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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