pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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