On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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