he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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