My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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