I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
