i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
