the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
