Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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