Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
