do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
