Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
