I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
