dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
