You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
