Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
