Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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