Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
