never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
