Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
