What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Randomize