guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
