I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
