he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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