careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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