Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
