she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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