Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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