spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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