I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
