i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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