he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
