We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
