I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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