I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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