tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
