You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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