Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize