he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Welp...herpes.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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