Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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