ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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