we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How does it feel to date your dad?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize