So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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