I wanna bring you to show and tell
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
