I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
