i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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