If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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