Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
