She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
