some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
