so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize